Butterflies and Tigers
by funtime vash
Summary: Sometimes home is a person, sometimes home is a place. On a beautiful world full of tigers and music, Fitz tries to decide which one. But the Doctor never makes things easy.
1. Chapter 1: Start All Over

Full of romance, angst and slash! Takes place during the Eighth Doctor Adventures, specifically _The Year of Intelligent Tigers_. If you've not read them, all you need to know is that this takes place after the first Time War. The Doctor was involved in the destruction of Gallifrey and spent 100 years wandering Earth with no memory, the only thing keeping him sane a letter from Fitz saying they would meet in the next century.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Start All Over**

* * *

_Yeah, so I started keeping a bloody journal again._

_I know, I know, it pretty much ensures that everything's gonna go wrong, if all my previous journals are any indication._

_But hey, that's bound to happen anyway. It's worth the risk, cos there's so much on Hitchemus I wanna remember. From the moment we got here, I could tell it was special. The Doctor got this mad, excited look when we landed, a look I hadn't seen since before Gallifrey's destruction, and the amnesia, and our hundred years apart. It's like this planet was meant for us._

_Naturally, Anji isn't chuffed about it. Not exactly bohemian, is she, being a "futures trader" or whatever the hell she did back in the 21st century before she got tangled up with the Doctor and me. Every time she talks about it, all I understand is that there's lots of money involved. Must be nice to have money. I wouldn't know._

_Not that you need much of it in Hitchemus. Port Any's the only city. It's a lovely town, smaller then Cardiff, but so full of life. This is my kinda place. You get paid to play music by the colony government, so there's music everywhere, nonstop, spilling onto the streets, dancing in the air. It's never silent, and you're never alone. So far, the Doctor and I have spent all of our time playing duets, him as usual being a genius on the violin, me strumming my guitar. We've eaten great food. Had a couple impromptu jam sessions in the park with dozens of people. Been to six parties._

_It's only been two days, but this place already feels like home._

* * *

The Doctor entered the butterfly room, finding Fitz chewing on a pen and reading a battered red journal.

The sun seemed to be setting in the simulated sky, tinting everything crimson as brilliant metallic-hued butterflies fluttered in the dying light, surrounding Fitz in a glittering cloud. The heavens were painted in vivid purples and pinks, with a full moon already hanging in the sky. A gorgeous backdrop. Fitz didn't seem to notice as he rifled through the pages, a pensive look on his face.

He casually sat next to him, and Fitz gave a little jump, slamming the book shut, the pen dropping out of his mouth. For a moment, he wore a guilty expression.

"Didn't mean to startle you," the Doctor said with a sheepish smile.

"No, it's all right," Fitz said, grinning back as he set the book aside. "Nice to see your smile again."

The Doctor threw him a wink and settled in comfortably against the tree beside Fitz, their shoulders just barely touching. "You always try to make me smile, don't you?"

"Yeah, well, you're cute when you smile. It's when you do that whole tortured Byronic madman thing that I get scared."

"Then I must have made you pretty nervous," the Doctor admitted softly.

"It wasn't so bad."

"Fitz, Fitz, Fitz," the Doctor said, kissing Fitz's hand. "My loyal, sweet, dependable Fitz. I haven't been very kind to you, have I?"

Fitz shrugged, wearing a pleased grin, like he usually did whenever the Doctor paid him any compliments.

"I shouldn't have pushed you away, after things with Karl... ended."

"It's all right," Fitz replied. "You were really close. Must have hurt."

The Doctor gave a weak shrug.

"I'm sorry about those poor tigers, Doctor," Fitz said, squeezing the Doctor's hand as he spoke. "Karl... He never meant to kill them. He didn't know what he was doing."

"He knew perfectly well what he was doing," the Doctor replied darkly, pulling his hand back and looking away as the sun slipped below the horizon.

The last butterfly of the evening drifted by, landing on Fitz's cheek. Fitz glanced at it out of the corner of his eye and giggled. The Doctor stroked Fitz's cheek, and it crawled onto his fingers. He held his hand open between them and they watched the beautiful pink and turquoise creature flap its wings lazily.

"I bet I used to like it," the Doctor said in a wistful tone. "Being here with you."

"More than like," Fitz said sadly.

"I'm sorry, Fitz. It must be difficult for you, what we've both lost."

Fitz stared at the Doctor with that open, unabashed vulnerability the Doctor always found so fascinating. "I'd do anything for you, Doctor," Fitz said very seriously. "I love you. Whether you ever love me back again or not, it doesn't... It doesn't matter, not really. Doesn't make me love you any less."

The Doctor cupped Fitz's face, the butterfly fluttering onto the back of his hand. Fitz turned into the touch, a look of gratitude in his wide grey eyes. "You really mean that, don't you?" said the Doctor.

Fitz nodded.

"I depended on you. Trusted you, with everything."

"Yeah," Fitz said softly.

"I still can."

He leaned in to kiss Fitz, and the butterfly flew off.

"Don't," Fitz whispered, placing a hand on the Doctor's chest, stopping him, pushing him back. "I mean it. You make it so hard for me sometimes. I keep trying to get over you, keep trying to forget everything we had, and then you do shit like this. And it's like I have to start all over again."

"But why would you want to forget?" the Doctor asked with genuine curiosity.

Fitz gave a bitter laugh. "_You_ did."

* * *

_I hate it when the Doctor kisses me. He's such a bloody tease. Always has been. But it's so much worse since he came back._

_He kissed me last night, then laughed in my face, and disappeared into the crowd at the bar._

_I proceeded to get as drunk as humanly possible, and woke up the next morning with twin flautists. We're getting together tomorrow with some friends for a jam session. I bloody love Hitchemus._

_No idea who the Doctor went home with. Probably shagging that Karl bloke he met a couple days ago. They've been hanging all over each other. But that's fine by me. Good for them._

_Anyway, I wrote a song this morning. Made me feel better, as always._

_Now in this age of quiet desperation_  
_Where thoughtful men are often moved to tears _  
_I raise a glass to wanton dissipation_  
_And all the grief it's spared me through the years _  
_Cos I'd rather by far_  
_Be left standing at the bar_  
_Than at the altar..._

_What the Doctor and Karl do together is up to them. I get it. And if he's moved on, then maybe that means I can too._

* * *

The Doctor felt his expression falter. He looked away, wishing he could hide his eyes, but he'd cut his hair dreadfully short in a fit of frustration. For a few long moments neither one of them said anything. Strange moths suddenly began floating through the night air, unearthly, impossibly alien, the glowing patterns on their wings shifting and changing as they drifted. The Doctor had rarely seen anything so beautiful. He'd only been in this room twice since the TARDIS had put itself together again, both times alone, during the day. He hadn't been prepared for such ethereal splendor.

Fitz, however, didn't even seem to notice. "Are you taking him with you?" Fitz asked quietly. "Before you leave for good?"

The Doctor narrowed his eyes. "After he killed innocent tigers, my friends, who trusted me and took me in after the colonists insulted me and shunned me? No. No, I think not."

"Good," Fitz said with a hint of a triumphant smirk.

"Would it matter if I was?"

"Yeah it would have bloody mattered," Fitz said with disbelief. "It's a bit much to expect your ex to travel space and time with the new bloke you're shagging, don't you think?"

"Your not an ex of anything," the Doctor said gently. "Not to me."

"Sure, Doc, keep telling yourself that," Fitz said as he lit a cigarette and took a deep drag. "We were just friends, yeah. Friends who loved each other, trusted each other, shared everything, shagged like rabbits, and depended on one another when the entire bloody universe turned against us. Just friends."

"That's not what I meant, Fitz."

Fitz stared at him, his breathing fast and shallow, the lit cigarette slipping through his fingers, seemingly forgotten. His grey eyes gleamed in the moonlight.

"I'm ready now," the Doctor said quietly. "I'm ready to start over again, with you. With _us_. If you'll have me."

Fitz lunged in for a desperate kiss.

* * *

As you may have realized, this entire story takes place during _The Year of Intelligent Tigers_ by the brilliant Kate Orman and her husband Jon Blum, one of my absolute favorite books in the Eighth Doctor Adventures. There are spoilers here for that novel, but nothing too bad. Fitz's journal starts before the novel takes place, and the song included in this chapter is directly from the book.


	2. Chapter 2: So Familiar It Hurt

**Chapter 2: So Familiar It Hurt**

* * *

_I remember that space station, drifting around Jupiter, the Doctor and I sharing a room, pretending to be accountants, of all things. Cleaning his wounds as he lay half naked and feverish. The Doctor telling me I was the reason he felt certain this was his life. It was the first long stretch of time we'd had alone since his amnesia, just the two of us. I knew we needed to talk. But I was a coward and I didn't want to bring it up, because knowing I still meant so much to him made me feel really good and I was afraid he'd take it back._

_Later on, I'd gotten hurt, real bad. Almost died, after I'd insisted the Doctor take the only oxygen during a little unplanned spacewalk. Without a suit. The Doctor came to visit me while I was recovering. We talked a bit, and then he reached out and stroked my cheek, real tender. I turned into his touch, and he flinched back like I'd hit him. His eyes grew real wide._

_"We were lovers," whispered the Doctor._

_"Yeah," I said, looking away._

_"I'm sorry," he said softly and stood up. "That was a long time ago for me, Fitz."_

_"I could tell you about it," I offered, reaching out to take his hand._

_He pulled away. "I'm sorry," he said, shaking his head slowly. "I'm just... I'm not ready for that, Fitz. Not yet."_

_"We really need to talk, Doctor."_

_He backed out of the room, wearing a stupid fake smile. "Right! You are absolutely right. But just at the moment..."_

_The Doctor trailed off and dashed out of the room. I laughed, then tried pretty unsuccessfully not to cry afterwards._

_That had been months ago. Some really terrible shit had happened to the Doctor after that, and he wouldn't let me comfort him, and the distance between us got even worse._

_But on Hitchemus, it was like things began to really click in place again. Yeah, all right, fine, so we weren't shagging, and the Doctor had a bloke, who followed us around everywhere, but suddenly we were best friends again. And that's enough for me. It has to be._

_Then naturally I messed everything up, just when I thought things were fine. Had a big row with the Doctor this morning._

_I barely even remember the night before, I was so bloody drunk. Woke up cuddled up on the couch with the Doctor smiling down at me. I got real excited for a minute, then the hangover hit me hard and fast and I curled up in a little ball and moaned, trying real hard not to throw up._

_The Doctor absently patted my head, then stood up to make some tea. He was still wearing his clothes from the night before, hemp trousers and a loose white shirt, all slightly disheveled._

_"What happened last night?" I asked real quiet as he put the kettle on, even my own small voice loud enough to hurt._

_"Fitz, Fitz, Fitz, you really don't remember?" he asked, sounding distracted as he searched through his drawers for some tea, making so much noise I winced._

_"Wouldn't have bloody asked if I did," I snapped, more annoyed at myself than him._

_"You came over, made some rather embarrassing confessions, then tried to kiss me and fell asleep."_

_"Embarrassing confessions?" I said with a bitter laugh. "I'm not bloody embarrassed, Doctor. Yeah, so I made an arse of myself, again. So what? Happens all the time."_

_"You should be careful," he said as the kettle began to boil. "Someone might take advantage of you one day."_

_"There's nothing anyone can do to me worse than what I've already been through, Doc," I muttered, finally forcing myself to sit up._

_"Well, I highly doubt that," the Doctor said absentmindedly. "Oh, bother. I seem to be out of milk."_

_Again, that bitter laugh that's starting to sound too familiar. "Yeah, well, you don't wanna talk about it, remember? Even right now, you're not even really paying attention."_

_The Doctor turned to me and pursed his lips for a moment. "All I have is Earl Grey, though I might have some sugar."_

_I stood up on shaky legs, upset and not even knowing why. Because the Doctor was just being the Doctor, just being himself, same as always. The rest of us, we're a passing fancy to him, nice cups of tea to enjoy, and once he's done, he moves on, and doesn't look back. And that's what I am. A cup he drank dry, and now he's moved on, and yeah, he likes keeping me around, but sometimes I think it's only cos I put up with all his shit without question._

_But that morning it really pissed me off, and it usually takes a hell of a lot to piss me off. "So when I try to kiss you, it's embarrassing, but when you do it, then snicker in my face and run off to shag another bloke, that's just having a laugh."_

_The Doctor looked crestfallen. "It isn't like that, Fitz," he said softly._

_I instantly regretted what I said, and I wanted to apologize, but I was still a little drunk from the night before, and waking up next to him had felt so familiar it hurt. "Then what's it like, Doctor?"_

_"I think I'm falling for you, Fitz," he admitted quietly._

_"Yeah, well, tell that to Karl next time you see him, won't you?" I said in a real nasty tone._

_I stormed out before he could reply, and, shit, I actually felt pretty good about it. Bollocks to him. I've let it go, I have to. He's still my best friend, always will be, but I'm not gonna let him twist me in knots anymore, I'm not gonna ruin myself by letting him string me along, I'm not gonna let it break my heart when I see him and Karl together._

_Naturally, when I ran into the Doctor that afternoon, he acted all bright and cheerful like nothing had happened. On his way to rehearsal, he explained, or he would have joined me for lunch. But there was a wariness in his eyes, and I hated myself for that._

_Anyway, we're all supposed to get together for a picnic this weekend. With Karl. And that's fine. If he's with Karl, it means we're not racing off to get ourselves killed battling some googly-eyed monster, and it means we get to enjoy Hitchemus awhile longer. I'll be ok, and I won't let it hurt, and I won't let it bother me._

_Yeah, right._

* * *

The Doctor let Fitz kiss him, enjoying the sensation of coarse stubble against his smooth face, of a warm tongue exploring his mouth. Fitz was pure desire, unbridled desperate need, rough hands tearing at the Doctor's buttons, slipping underneath to touch his chest, sliding his shirt from his shoulders, wanting everything at once. And the Doctor was just the same. Once they were finally naked, entangled together, the Doctor pushed Fitz over and spread his legs.

"What are you...?" Fitz began before trailing off, grey eyes wide and staring.

The Doctor gave him a tiny smile and tilted his head. "Surely you've–"

"Of course," Fitz interrupted, stammering and blushing furiously. "It's just, I mean before, it was always the other way around, wasn't it? That's all. Not that there's anything wrong with being on... the receiving end, I mean, yeah, obviously, nothing wrong, since you were the one, it's just, well, I mean..."

The Doctor laughed at him, and Fitz managed to blush an even darker crimson. The Doctor had a sudden urge to tickle him, and they both laughed together, free and happy and wrestling around in the grass. Enjoying each other. Then the Doctor pounced on Fitz, holding down his wrists, biting his neck. Fitz gasped, taking a deep, shuddering breath as the Doctor sunk his teeth in, hard enough to leave a mark. He pulled back and admired the dark bruise against Fitz's pale skin. Fitz trembled a little underneath him.

"People change, Fitz," the Doctor said very seriously.

"Yeah, Doc, you're telling me," Fitz said with a bitter chuckle.

* * *

The scenes from the Jupiter space station are from the incredible book _Fear Itself, which I absolutely recommend._


	3. Chapter 3: Where I Belong

**Chapter 3: Where I Belong**

* * *

_So it finally happened. Karl and the Doctor broke up, and it was a bad one. Bad enough that days later, the Doctor's still in his bloody flat, playing violin by himself._

_Anji just laughed when I told her, calling him a sulking teenager. But I know better. I know him. Being with him, it was like the ground was always unstable. You never knew where you stood, never knew which Doctor you were going to get, never knew when everything was about to collapse all around you. So you can't help but be on edge, because there's nothing normal, nothing constant, and it isn't just because of him, it's just the crazy life we lead. Being an intergalactic man of mystery isn't as glamorous as you'd think._

_Sometimes it gets to him, and then you get a Doctor who will brood for weeks, who makes mistakes, who's ice cold and distant, fragile. A real madman. And when the Doctor makes mistakes, people get hurt. So I'm bloody worried. I went and sat against his door, talking, but getting no response except the melancholy sound of his violin weeping._

_So I sat down and started strumming my guitar._

_Playing along was strange, this time. We've played loads of times, so many instruments, so many places and tunes that I lost track long ago. But this felt different. This felt like heartbreak. The music he was playing reminded me most of how he felt, in his mind, after the TARDIS was dragged through a fracture in time, with his own people hunting us down as we went on the run with Compassion, the stroppy sentient red-headed TARDIS who quite frankly scared the shit out of me._

_When the TARDIS disappeared, he lost his violin, and I lost my guitar, along with everything else either one of us had in the entire universe. He spent most nights in my arms, in my room, where Compassion promised not to watch, and whenever we shagged, and our minds touched, he felt full of broken glass on the inside. His ex Romana had betrayed him, the Time Lords were after him, and we'd lost our home. We didn't play together anymore after that. Too busy just trying to survive another day. Then all that Time War shit on Gallifrey happened, and our century apart, and he lost his memories. Didn't play again until our first day on Hitchemus, and it's been like learning to play all over again, like meeting him brand new. All the easy ways we used to fit together aren't there anymore. For a while, I think I might have known him better than anyone else, might have really understood the person who he was at that moment in time, when we'd shared everything. _

_Course, that's all gone now, what we had. Like Gallifrey's gone._

_Now we're strangers, sitting back to back, separated by a door, and by our secrets. Now playing with him feels like playing with some mysterious alien, remote, and full of lonely despair._

_Which really pisses me off, because we never used to be lonely together. Before he forgot me._

_But that's fine. I'll help, cos I'm a sucker, and I'm pathetic, and I hate to see the Doctor sad. I'll go see Karl, try to convince him to take the Doctor back. Because it's fine, really. Fine with me, that the Doctor is so broken up about him and Karl, even though he refuses to even talk to me about everything we used to have._

_It's fine._

_Maybe if I tell myself that enough times, it'll finally be true._

* * *

The Doctor let him go and sat up, Fitz's legs still casually wrapped around his waist. "You don't want to?" the Doctor teased, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah," muttered Fitz a little breathlessly. "Yeah, I want to. I want _you_. Always. You can do whatever you want to me, Doctor. Must have realized that bit by now."

And he touched the Doctor's face, rubbing his thumb across the Doctor's temple. The Doctor gasped as Fitz touched him so perfectly, pressing against a spot he thought only meant something to him, feeling Fitz brushing at the edges of his awareness. "How are you...?" the Doctor hissed.

Fitz pulled him down, kissing him, on his lips, on his cheek, finally on his temple, whispering against his skin, "Let me in. Please, you used to let me in, you used to let me in every time, and now when I shag someone else it feels empty without you in my head."

Shivering, the Doctor dropped his mental barriers, and suddenly Fitz flooded his mind with gratitude, and desire, and absolute, unconditional love. They both moaned, clutching each other. The first time the Doctor remembered being intimate with someone, he hadn't been able to control it. She had called him a demon, a monster, terrified as she escaped his touch.

He'd sworn off sex for a very long time after that, pushing away anyone who got close. By the time he'd fallen for Alan Turing, the Doctor had spent decades learning to block out his psychic abilities, learning to numb that part of himself whenever he made love. Because he didn't want to be different, even though he was.

But with Fitz... Everything with Fitz felt so familiar. Slipping into his mind felt like coming home, and he wept with rapture at the sensation. It felt as if he'd been living his whole life in black and white, but suddenly he could see colors, bright and brilliant and everywhere. And it was beautiful, Fitz was beautiful. More beautiful than he ever imagined.

Fitz's soul lay bare before him. In the distance, dark shadows the size of mountains hid secrets the Doctor didn't want to know, but they didn't matter. Not when there was so much else to explore, to enjoy.

Beneath him, Fitz stared up with wide, glazed eyes, full of awe and gratitude, his mouth open just slightly, the hint of a smile at the corners. A perfect vision of wanton desire.

And the Doctor desired him so very badly.

Fitz exposed everything he was with a loving, trusting sort of tenderness, his flaws, his insecurity, his love, his ultimate loyalty and devotion. There was more pain than the Doctor expected from someone who lived so completely in the moment, and more that Fitz hated about himself than he ever let on. So much hidden darkness. Yet there was a sort of purity about him as well, an innocence, a broken little boy who never quite grew up. His history of experiences and struggles and suffering could have left anyone resentful and cruel. But not him. Not Fitz. He remained kind and earnest, excitable, affectionate, even when facing the worst sort of heartbreak.

"I missed you," the Doctor said quietly, stroking Fitz's cheek.

The Doctor had to have him, body and mind, had to make Fitz his. He shifted, pressing against Fitz, who started breathing faster, and the Doctor felt a mingling of anticipation blend with an onrush of pure physical need. The Doctor pushed in, slowly, and Fitz held him tightly, shuddering, gasping, biting his lip between loud, shaky breaths. Their minds completely intertwined as their bodies intermingled.

They began to move together, kissing, thrusting against each other, passing the sensations from one to another in an endless loop. A beautiful dance.

It could have lasted minutes, or hours. Fitz kept touching him, eyes open, looking amazed and relieved all at once. He tasted of cigarettes, and his mouth was warm. The Doctor couldn't get enough of the flavor. Fitz felt so familiar to him, the sounds he made, the rhythm of his body, that incredible well of need, of desire, a jagged hole torn in his soul from an unstable childhood filled with fear and loss. A hole that would never, ever be full. The Doctor filled it as much as he could, with his affection, his love, and in return he took the music from Fitz's mind. There were patterns in the sounds, overlaying tumnes, endlessly intricate, a dazzling melody that came together to form a song the Doctor still heard in his dreams. He reeled back, gasping.

"It was you," the Doctor whispered, six beautiful notes dancing in his mind. "It's always been you. The song that's been running through my empty life for a century."

"I wrote it for you," Fitz replied breathlessly.

The Doctor kissed him, again and again, so very grateful. "Oh, Fitz, Fitz, my Fitz," he murmured between kisses. "I never forgot you, even when I forgot myself. It was you, always you, always in my thoughts. You gave me something to look forward to when I had nothing else."

Fitz cried out, clutching the Doctor as he slipped over the edge, his whole body tensing as waves of ecstasy coursed through both of them. He dragged the Doctor along with him, Fitz's orgasm blotting out everything else, and they were one, completely and utterly in a way the Doctor couldn't remember ever feeling before. He muttered Fitz's name again and again as they released.

Fitz shivered, both of them trembling at the intensity of what they felt for each other, so strong it frightened them, just a little.

The Doctor kissed him as he pulled away, then lay down on the grass beside him.

"Bloody hell," mumbled Fitz, cradling the Doctor close. "That was... Shit, that was incredible, Doctor."

The Doctor laughed and kissed him some more.

* * *

_Sitting in the butterfly room again seems so surreal, after everything that happened._

_I forgot all about this little journal once the Tiger War started. It figures. Everything went to hell, like it usually does. But the Doctor trusted me to help him, and I didn't let him down. Maybe I was a bit of a hero myself this time, without him._

_Hitchemus was a lovely place before the war, and maybe it will be again, one day. Now it needs help. Between the Doctor acting like a power-mad god and destroying the spaceport, the storms wracking the entire planet, and the shaky truce between the tigers and the colonists, it's just a shell of itself._

_But it'll get better. I can tell. I lead the relief efforts in the middle of the battle, and saw everybody pulling together to help, despite everything. Played concerts from the rooftops, with humans and tigers stopping what they were doing to watch. Watching me making music, like it really mattered to them. _

_There are good people, here. It's a good place. I can't help but feel like I could really be happy here. Keep playing the hero. Become a real musician again._

_When the Doctor came back from the Bewilderness with Karl draped all over him, I felt good about it. Didn't want to hug him, or kiss him, didn't feel jealous. I was real cool and casual about seeing him again, on my way to organize another one of my concerts, my way of keeping the peace in the middle of the war. Busy with my own life, for once._

_It's almost like I'm over him, honestly. So maybe I can finally make my own way in this crazy universe, someplace where I know I can keep making things better, where people actually respect me. Maybe this place, this city. Port Any feels more like home to me than London ever did. And if things really are over with me and the Doctor, if there's really no going back to what we had, then that means there's nothing holding me back, either. Not anymore._

* * *

The Doctor curled into Fitz, snuggling against to his chest, listening to that single steady heartbeat. "I can't believe I ever said no to this," the Doctor sighed, looking up at Fitz with a smile. "You feel like home, Fitz."

Fitz cupped his face and took a deep breath. "You've always been home to me, Doctor," he said in a shaky voice, eyes gleaming.

"Promise you won't leave me, now that I've found you again," the Doctor said in a manic, desperate voice, turning into Fitz's touch. "After waiting so long, after wasting so much time denying you. Promise me, even if it's not true, even if everyone leaves in the end, even if it only means it hurts worse when you do. I just want to hear it."

"I love you, Doctor," Fitz said, leaning over him, crying softly with relief. "I won't ever leave you, not for good, not forever. No matter what happens."

Then Fitz kissed him once, twice, and once more before pulling away and resting his forehead against the Doctor. He could feel Fitz's tears dripping on his face, and it reminded him of a memory that had haunted him so much during those terrible years he'd spent drifting across the Earth all alone. A half conscious reminiscence of someone else's tears dripping on his face, and a familiar voice forgiving him again and again for things the Doctor was terrified of remembering.

"I'm so sorry, Fitz," the Doctor whispered.

"Don't be," said Fitz gently. "I forgave you a long time ago. I know where I belong. Here, with you. Always."

Much to his surprise, the Doctor actually believed him.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed it! This story was completely inspired by the incredible _Year of Intelligent Tigers_, written by the brilliant Kate Orman and Jon Blum. In it, Fitz plays the song that's been running through the Doctor's head, with very touching lyrics. The song also plays a role in my very first Fitzverse story, This Tangled TARDIS, which features Fitz and Eight alongside Nine, Ten, Eleven, and River Song, Jack Harkness, and Rose Tyler. And speaking of Eleven, he's coming back! Along with River and Jack and a couple of menacing aliens in an adventurous romp through Easter Island in the very next Fitzverse story. Stay tuned!


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